Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
