If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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