I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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