I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
