i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
