Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
