i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My dick has a subreddit
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
