break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
