I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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