did you get engaged???
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
