I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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