glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
