im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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