Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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