if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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