Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
