its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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