just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
