I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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