you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
then he tried to convert me to islam
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
