Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
