She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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