then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
