You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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