i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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