I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
