Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
