Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
