WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
