a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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