This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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