We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
