Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
