it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
