OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
