This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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