I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
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