sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
