Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
