i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
