Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
