...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
