Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
