But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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