how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
