Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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