Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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