My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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