so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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