brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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