I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
