I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
