Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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