I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
