worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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