It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize