I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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