Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
