A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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