idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
