I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
