I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize