D3 body, D1 cock
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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