His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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